Mistake Making 101

Moving back to the U.S. has been slightly unnerving for me. After these past three years in two countries that move at a much, much slower pace, I have found myself a bit frustrated and a lot tired by trying to keep up with the pace with which we move here. I do find it, er, amusing that I, Queen of Hating-to-Make-Mistakes, find myself longing for time – even just a few quiet minutes, please! – to process any and all mistakes I make. Instead, I feel rushed on to the next ever-so-important stimuli/information/event/viral video that society shoves at me. I can only use the “I’ve been out of the country” excuse for so long as a reason why I don’t know who Justin Bieber is, why I haven’t seen the latest episode of ______ (any TV show), and why I can’t keep up with the lamenting about how high gas prices are…(under $10 a gallon? GREAT!)

Thus, to recognize the need for mistakes as well as the need to have time to process them, I am about to give you lots of mistakes. Feel free to take your time, mull them over, ponder what the intended meaning is, determine if the mistake was intentional and thus shows a brilliant understanding of the English language in the use of manipulating it into an ironic error. Or not. But at least take a moment to enjoy the beauty and complexity of the English language.

Mistakes My Students Make

(and how thankful I am that they have taught me, daily, the importance of making mistakes)

“Avoid monotony so that you can be held clearly.”

            Yes indeed, a boring, monotonous life probably does hinder my chances of being held.

“The speaker is supposed to dress representable because the audience sometimes can get bold because of your dressing.”

            Hmm..‘bold’ and ‘dressing’ sounds like something for a salad.

“There are a lot of students just loitering around the compass.”

            Gravitated toward due north?

“Punctuation: Every word should be punctual to grab listeners attention.”

            Punctuality is very important. If words are late, the joke falls flat. Well done.

“Some students as well gain experience in football which can help them in the future such as football players, coaches, and ministers.”

            …because clearly God is a football fan!

“Sometimes when the chemicals are too much or too little, the body of the body of the animal reacts in a different way and it might even cause a certain type of disease or even the animal itself might mutate into a different animal.”

            Animals mutating into different animals? A+

“Secondly, the library, this is where books are found.”

            Too much brilliance and innovation in this sentence to take it in all at once. Or…Wait. A. Second. I already knew that! Cloaking the obvious in a topic sentence…you had me fooled for a minute.

“Respect for animals, they have also light to live although they say no man is an island.”

            A John Donne reference gone so very wrong.

“Hook is the first sentence of you statement which talkes about the baby.”

            Yes, yes of course. Everyone knows The Baby.

“Hook is a fancy sentence found in the introduction part of the essay.”

            I love this definition of a hook. Anything ‘fancy’ has my vote.

“I believe hope and trust that the issue i have raised will be met with your quickies and most favorable response.”

            I highly doubt this person knows the alternative meaning of the word ‘quickie.’ But one would hope a quickie would be met with ‘most favorable response.’ If not, at least it wasn’t a lot of time wasted.

And I hope that this read has been met with most favorable response. After all, mistakes are what makes us better, if we take the time to process them…and hopefully find humor in them.