"I Move with the Bread"

Daily, my office mates throw me lines such as the title of this post that make it into my quote book. Okay my quote book is actually just the back few pages of my daily planner because, as a teacher, I really don't need space in December (vacation time!) to keep track of important dates. (Oddly, my brain will remember that I have a party to go to on December 17th at 9 p.m. in Dumbo and to bring a bottle of port, but it will not remember that I need to meet a student tomorrow at 1:30.) The quote book is a source of constant amusement in our office at work, or rather, I should say the conversations that lead to quotes being written in the quote book are a constant source of amusement. (Seriously, we actually do teach classes also.)

What is it like to work at a university in Malawi and share an office with four other profs? First, there is actually only one Malawian (and the only other woman; I'll call her F) in my office, and she's the best at keeping me sane all the time. We can glance at each other with a look of "Did that just actually  happen?" and we'll both immediately know we are not going crazy. The three male profs are from Zimbabwe, and having them in the office makes for some interesting and serious conversations about the political situation in Zim. For example, I've been taught that in Zim few people actually say Mugabe's name in public, just in case what they're saying is taken out of context or misconstrued. Apparently, the results of an innocent miscommunication could be disastrous. (As could calling Mugabe a 'baboon,' as someone recently did in Zim. I really do need to ask about what happened to that guy.)

The men in the office also take a lot of ribbing from me and F.  It's rather easy to tease them, as they give us a lot of ammunition. But I'll save those gems for a later date.

One of these men -- who looks like he could have played American football in university -- is convinced that I must eat mbewa (roasted mouse on a stick) before I leave Malawi. This is clearly not going to happen, especially since 1. I don't eat meat. 2. I don't eat rodents and 3. I don't eat anything with fur. He also tells me I'd make a good housewife, at which I sneer but secretly take as a huge compliment, coming from him.  Another reason I like the guy so much is that he encourages my learning Chichewa, even though I've essentially learned next to nothing. He got super impressed yesterday when I understood something he said. What he doesn't know is that I only understood because he was using my absolute favourite Chichewa word: shimozimozi, meaning 'it's all the same.'

Another of the guys in the office smiles all day, I'm guessing because he's thinking about his wife and baby daughter all the time. He seems to be the paragon of a loving husband. When I complain about men (which is very very rarely, of course), he likes to ask me, "Why are you always dissing men? We're not bad you know." Okay, 'dissing' was my word -- poetic license, you know; he didn't actually say that. But now that I think about it, it's high time to teach him to use that fine word. (F and I have recently taught the 3 guys to use "Piss off" quite effectively. Don't you wish you had my job right now?)

The third male office mate gets embarrassed at the slightest mention of anything 'feminine'; just saying the word "boobs" or "tits" will make him immediately look down, shuffle his papers around on his desk, and pretend he's not listening. I once hugged him, and I think he didn't know what to do about it for hours. Or days. He also is one of the genuinely sweetest people I've ever met, but I probably think that because he tells me nice things everyday, like: "Oh, Heid, what would we do without you?" or "What's the occasion?" (which is his way of saying I look nice that day), and "I wish you would stay here for five years...or maybe forever."

So you see, between the antics in my office (due to my fantastic colleagues) and my students (always a source of amusement), my workdays here are pretty packed with laughter. And now that everyone knows I have a quote book, at times of quotable gems I am told, "You have to write this down!"

And so I do.

Our office

My three Zim office mates

Teaching important phrases