Things that make you go "huh?"

Malawi is full of things that make you go, "HUH??"

Whether it's the really questionable fashion statements seen daily or the discordant scenes that one is privy to when living in one of the poorest countries in the world, this country is rife with opportunities to practice your puzzled look.

Do you love watching "What Not to Wear"? Are you considered a fashionista by your friends and colleagues? Then, your search for the perfect love-hate relationship is over. Come here, and you'll be torn between looking away quickly from the tragic outfits that may burn your eyes and staring at the same outfits that make your mind reel trying to find a schema to fit the sight into. Even for the slightly style-challenged person that I am, I often find myself appalled by and drawn to certain fashion disasters. Let's just start with this: sexy fishnet stockings should never be worn by anyone over 50 (and I'm being really kind with the age limit here) unless she's a hooker. (Wait, did I just say it was okay for a 51-year-old hooker to wear fishnet stockings? Clearly, I need to take back that statement.)

Okay, on to university students. One would think that a university campus would be filled with students wearing jeans and t-shirts. Although there are students who do dress casually, others seem to think the more formal the dress means the more style one has, and sometimes it can. However, even at Smith, the school that claims debutantes and former Presidents' wives, never would anyone have worn an evening cocktail dress, complete with wide satin sash tied in a bow at the back, and strappy silver high-heeled sandals to a class, unless for a lark. But at 7:30 a.m., there that outfit was, on campus. I guess I'm more of a flip-flops and tank top kind of girl to understand.

And just when you think you can't be perplexed any more, the rest of the country is there, waiting to present multiple incongruous scenes each day.  Let's just start with my neighborhood. Walking down a street adjacent to mine will land me in an area of large houses, high fences, gorgeous gardens, and expensive cars (including the Mercedes convertible that I kind of covet, albeit just for a second -- okay maybe a few minutes -- everyday). Anyway, what else do I find along this street? Lots of gate guards sitting next to the gates of those expensive homes, guarding, among everything else, that $50,000 convertible. How much do these gate guards make per month?  Most likely, it's less than $100. So even at the 'high' salary of $100 a month, for a guard to purchase the $50,000 Mercedes convertible that he protects, the guard would need to work for 42 years -- as long as he doesn't need to eat or pay rent, that is.

Two different styles of living:

 and...

Of course, every country has its contrasts, but the ones here are often in the same breath or blink, and that's what makes it poignant, at least for me. Yesterday, I saw a barefoot woman in dusty old clothes, collapsed on the side of the road while, in the distance, I could see the manicured lawns of the cafe where one can buy $4 iced lattes with ice cream.  A few days ago, I was also struck by the incongruity of my extremely well-dressed and fashionable Malawian sister, in heels and a black dress and carrying a stylish handbag, on the same street as a woman wrapped in a chitenje (which is like a sarong), with a baby on her back, and a bucket on her head.

 And if that scene isn't enough to make you do a double take and/or wonder where on earth you have landed to be presented with such a contrast, then there are still random things that might have you scratching your head, such as this:

Yes, that's right. The College of Medicine -- the university that trains doctors -- has a sign just outside its Sports Complex (complete with dirt track, soccer field, gym, and outdoor basketball courts) with a picture of huge slabs of meat. Sure, it's an advert for a butchery, but it's still a sign with a picture of huge slabs of meat outside the College of Medicine. (Someone please tell me, does meat = medicine? This vegetarian needs to know, in case I get sick.) And although I love one of my sisters' explanations -- that perhaps they are promoting the intake of protein for exercise -- this sign certainly is enough to make me go "huh?"