Letter to the Editor

Day: 1

Count: 40 days

Suggestion: Write a letter to the editor

Dear Heidi,

Congratulations on your near-40-year prologue. How about beginning Chapter One now? To do that, I will give you some advice on how to make your book more streamlined and how to move the storyline along more efficiently. Here are some excellent pointers: get rid of all parenthetical phrases; never write off-tangent stories within the main storyline; and for God’s sake, stop using so many exclamation points. No character should ever be that excited. Perhaps re-familiarize yourself with The Stranger. Grey indifference can never be overused.

I am confident that with these changes and your renewed interest in the possibility of mass production, your book will exceed my expectations.

Sincerely,

Your Editor

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Dear Editor,

While I appreciate your continued interest in my work, please let it be noted yet again that I have neither hired you nor asked for your opinion regarding any aspect of my book. I am pretty content with the way my story is progressing, albeit in a less than typical structure. I like the added thoughts within stories and the meandering paths that may lead to unexpected places and that are completely unrelated to the start. I especially love the little handstands of joy made by my exclamation points!

I am confident that one day you’ll find something better to do than try to change someone else’s book. You may even realize that by busying yourself with trying to edit other’s books, your own book remains woefully neglected and unwritten. That’s a shame because, like everyone, I’m sure you have the possibility of being a really good read.

Sincerely,

Heidi